Week One - The Journey Begins

Slimming World – a journey

Tuesday January 2012

As I stood outside the doors ready walk through the entrance-way into that Slimming World class, a hundred thoughts made their way through my brain. Why was I putting myself though this torture, again? Why was I about to spend a fortune to have some woman tell me how much I weigh, week in week out? Could I really do this all over again? The simple answer of course was yes.

I am FAT. I weigh twice as much as I did before I became pregnant sixteen years ago.  I have no intention of broadcasting my weight across the internet, but I decided to publish this blog to try and help me keep on track and to have place to talk when I feeling rubbish about the gains, which will happen. I know I have to lose weight, which is why I found myself stood outside those doors one week ago.

As I walked through the doors, I was greeted by the consultant, Jules, who remembered me. She said hello and asked if I was back to rejoin, which I confirmed. I don’t mind telling you that I was very anxious that moment in time, ‘she’ll be thinking I’m a failure,’ I thought and if she did, she didn’t show it. She smiled at me warmly and asked me to take a seat with some other new people, which I did.

She then took us all into another room and explained the plan to us. As a vegetarian, I was to follow the Green days, which I had done before. I was a little bored as she went through the plan, but made myself listen. I couldn’t be arrogant about it, I had been before and look what had happened, I had put the weight back on again.

As we sat in the main room again, Jules went through the very familiar routine of going round the room and sharing with the group what each person had lost, gained, or indeed maintained. I always liked this bit. You could get tips and hints about food and recipes and all sorts. This week though it felt like it took her forever to get round each and every member. I just wanted to get weighed.

I had stayed away from scales every since I had grown out of my size 18 trousers last year so I was a little worried what they were going to tell me. At last it was that time and I took a breath and then stepped on. I was shocked. I knew I had put weight on, but not that much. Jules read the shock in my face and asked if I was ok. I replied that I was ok.

I then left, very quickly. I just wanted to get out of that room and get my head around those figures on that scale. I made the decision that I would never see those numbers again, and I mean it.